Vacuum Bites the Dust

There are few things you can plan on in this life:  one is that someday you will need to replace your appliances.

In the starter house we patch walls and fix the toilet.  Our appliance, if mundane, were serviceable.

If children arrive they strew toys and clothes ubiquitously:  dust has no chance to settle in this vortex.  Cleaning sinks in priority like a lure in a deep well.    

As mayhem subsides and children vacate the home, we look around our castle and are shocked (shocked!) at what we notice.  Weren't the carpets originally beige not orange?  Must the toaster reduce bread to coal?  Everything from the refrigerator is green and only half are vegetables.

This is when all appliances fall like dominoes.

The line-up includes not necessarily in this order:  washer, dryer, refrigerator, oven, dishwasher.  The upright vacuum that has always done a crappy job finally bites the dust.  The demise of the electric can opener is especially aggravating as you discover you lack the hand strength to use a manual one.  

Your simultaneous dread and excitement turns to amazement at the upgrades available.  Canister vacuums lug utensils like a mountain climber; it's dusting tool can attack curtains growing basil.  Refrigerators dispense various states of ice and water.  Imagine a washer that can hold a down comforter!

Mere possession of these new appliances does not guarantee positive results.  A dryer can still reduce an angora sweater to fit Cinderella's mice.  Cheese can still turn green and you can still over-cook the roast; because you must not only acquire these appliances but know how to operate them.

So here's another thing to count on:  if you want something done right, you need to know how to do it.